Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
