Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
