State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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