First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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