Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
