I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
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he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
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And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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