that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
