i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
