I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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