capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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