You really coming over, don't trick.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
