he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
