Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
