I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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