did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
