Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
