I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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