Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
