I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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