all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
