True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
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Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
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I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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