I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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