Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
