Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
