Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
