so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
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BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
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Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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