I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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