Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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