And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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