k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
