it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
