We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
