so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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