dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize