party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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