every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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