yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
