It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Randomize
