I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
