Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
