I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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