i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
