I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
