It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
