Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
