How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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