I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
