What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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