This is not my ceiling
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
