Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
