can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
