I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
