i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
