she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
