I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
