his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize