If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize