Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
