fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
