I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
