let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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