hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
