What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
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My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
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You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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